With their large, sensitive eyes and sophisticated graduation caps, owls have always been important cultural symbols of wisdom. And while we pray that nothing goes wrong for the species, shit happens sometimes. Here are some fallback animals we could look for in case the worst ever happens to owls.
At first glance, it seems like crabs are everything that owls are not. Crabs have hard shells; Owls have soft feathers. Crabs can walk; Owls can fly. Crab meat is often found in sushi; Owl meat is almost never in sushi. However, crabs live on the beach all day, so they always have fun in the sun, which when you think about it, is a really smart way of life. Plus, it’s not hard to imagine aunts buying small crab figurines in the Hallmark Store for their nieces and nephews as graduation gifts. Crabs are a great option when it comes to owl dropouts.
The most important role owls play as symbols of wisdom is to appear on graduation cards holding a small rolled up diploma under their wing as they say, “Hoot hoot! Con1 culations! “If a similar-sized bird were the next symbol of wisdom, card designers could simply flip a hawk’s head over an owl’s and call it a day. They could even leave the balloon, as hawks can likely make ‘hup hoot’ noises too. Not to mention, hawks can sit on people’s arms, which no stupid old bird can do. Most birds can’t even tell between an arm and a length of PVC pipe. Hawks really bring something unique to the table. They are useful creatures with brains much larger than their golf ball-sized skulls suggest, and we can learn from them.
3. Baby cheetahs
One of the three differences between baby cheetahs and owls is that baby cheetahs are adorable while owls are just kind of neutral. In terms of looks, a baby cheetah would be a far cuter option for a symbol of wisdom, which should definitely be considered. And while baby cheetahs aren’t known to be particularly smart, that could change with a little clever marketing. Imagine a poster of a cute baby cheetah with papyrus text that reads, “They may be young, but they are sure to be wise. Baby cheetahs: the keepers of knowledge. “People would totally get into it.
4. A dog with glasses and books
Wisdom absolutely exudes from this dog, which has to do with his smart looking glasses and large stacks of science books. What are you reading there, dog? Looks like some very serious books, maybe on challenging subjects like philosophy and rocket science – things that are way out of reach for ordinary people like us. If this dog has not yet succumbed fatally to its many genetic defects and respiratory deformities, we should strongly consider it a potential successor to owls. It gives us a serious Einstein mood!
We know wasps aren’t an obvious choice and that something like elephants might make more sense (super old and therefore wise), but elephants are sure to become extinct at some point in the next century so we really can’t count on them. However, wasps can be found everywhere. Most people have probably seen a maximum of three owls, but wasps? You’ve probably seen thousands! And you can tell that wasps have a good head on their shoulders too, because they enjoy all the benefits of being bees (flying, stinging things, etc.) but without having to (do) the bullshit work, honey, pollination of the planet etc) – You totally played the system, and that is certainly no coincidence. That is strategic brilliance. Look, we’re not saying we hope something happens to owls, but if they actually go the dinosaur trail (god forbid!) Billions of wasps are ready to take over the baton. Wasps really are the smartest beetles!