5 Occasions My Gynecologist Posted ‘There’s Magnificence In The Breakdown’ On Fb With A Image Of A Sundown Instantly After My Appointment
My gynecologist is a knowledgeable, experienced professional with a successful practice, but I have a problem with her: After almost every appointment we have together, she completes an emotional Facebook post about what “beauty in a breakdown” is with a stupid, melodramatic picture of a sunset or something like that. These posts are very clearly about me. I have no idea why she’s doing this or how to interpret it. It really starts to bother me.
1. The first time it happened
Around 2018 I made an appointment with my gynecologist Dr. McNeill. I liked her as soon as I met her – she is a woman with no nonsense and she made me feel calm and relaxed during my examination. The appointment was completely normal: she asked me about my cycle, gave me a routine pelvic exam, and refilled my contraception prescription. It is always a bit awkward to lie uncomfortably on the examination table with your feet in the stirrups, but otherwise everything seemed fine. Anyway, when I got home I googled Dr. McNeill out of curiosity and landed on her Facebook page, on which, ten minutes after our appointment, she had a pixelated picture of a sunset with the caption, “There’s beauty in the mine.” I didn’t think much about it until I noticed that a friend of hers had commented, “Are you all right?” and she had replied, “Not rly. I hate being a doctor.” The thing was, I know for sure that I was her only appointment of the day made a point to tell myself this so I can’t imagine what other medical articles she could have referred to in her post, needless to say, I was definitely a little worried.
2. The time when I was sure it wasn’t going to happen again, but it did
I was back at Dr. McNeill’s office to have me checked up because my pap smear had come back abnormally, and I was sure it wasn’t going to be a repeat from before as far as Facebook was concerned. I made sure to shower, wear my best underwear, and even brush my teeth in case she had a problem with it the last time. Again, the appointment seemed completely routine. But I noticed she grabbed her iPad when I started packing to leave the exam room and when I tried to say goodbye to her she just grunted a little and then closed the door on my face. Lo and behold, not two minutes later there was a post on their Facebook that contained an extremely similar sunset image to the first one. She had classified her mood as “hopeless” and completed the post with the melodramatic headline “Send positive mood :(. Have to quit my job yesterday.” I had no idea what to think of it. In a panic, I tried Googled a few search terms like “disturbing the vagina” and “my cervix made the doctor mad” but nothing came up, yet something about me clearly rubbed her wrong.
3. The time she made two posts about me
The next time I go to Dr. McNeil went, I discussed getting an IUD. After this visit, she made not one, but TWO posts on her Facebook page, which obviously related to our appointment. It was the kind of exam where I didn’t even have to take off my clothes or anything, but as soon as I entered she visibly backed away and seemed to be shaken for a good 30 seconds before taking a deep breath and handing me some contraception leaflets. When I checked later, she went on Facebook and posted a picture of a cliff overlaid with the words, “It’s okay to be wrong,” and then, just three minutes later, a dramatic, shady one Selfie that was clearly taken in the same room where our appointment had just taken place, with the headline “If a patient is pushing you to the edge, all you can do is push back.” There’s just no way that the patient she was referring to , not me, but I have no idea what the hell made her feel this way. Mind you, all of the other Facebook posts are images of their children’s sports games and their two golden retrievers.
4. The time when I brought her a present and it still didn’t stop her from posting as soon as I left the office
When I had to come back in for a full exam, I made sure I did my best because I was getting tired of this Facebook drama. I bought Dr. McNeill received a fine box of Whole Foods chocolates and she accepted them with a real gusto. Then she put me in the stirrups and told me everything looked “great” and “perfectly healthy”. The only weird moment was a part where she looked around with the speculum, paused for a long time, then said “Hmmm” and kind of sighed. When I asked her if something was wrong, she didn’t even answer me – she just looked out the window for a while, shook her head, and returned for the exam. After I left the office, she wrote in all caps, “The Wolves’ Company Is Better Than A Sheep’s Wolf Company,” with a picture of that day’s sunset that she took on her iPhone. I swear to god, as far as I can tell, there is nothing strange about my vaginal health. I don’t know why she treats me like that.
5. The time she definitely denied having a Facebook account on my face and then turned around and posted about me on Facebook that same hour
At my last appointment, I decided to see Dr. Getting McNeill to explain what’s going on and complaining that my aunts and uncles won’t stop posting conspiracy theory memes on their Facebook timelines. Without missing a beat, she simply replied, “Well, that’s why I don’t have Facebook” and smiled. She pretended she didn’t even have a Facebook page when I knew for sure she would be writing about me the second after I left. I paid close attention throughout the exam, even that weird part where she feels inside your ovaries and lets you know if she thinks you have cysts. She didn’t seem thrilled, but I don’t think my ovaries sucked enough to warrant the post she did that afternoon. In the picture of me that the reception took when I was doing it, there was a picture of the Grim Reaper. First Dr. McNeill to see. She must have done the graphics herself. At the top of the picture was stylized text that said, “You can’t really live until you’ve looked death in the face.” I’m not sure what the hell I have to do before my next appointment to make sure this won’t happen again, but rest assured I’ll try to find out. She’s the best doctor in my insurance network, so I’m not going to switch.