Absolute Chaos: There’s No Outfield Fence At This Native Baseball Subject, It Simply Connects To One other Subject Behind It
When you want to check out some good old fashioned baseball and Get an idea of how nightmarish the world could look if it weren’t ruled by a loving God. Then make sure to check the following: This baseball field does not have an outer field fence – it just connects to another field behind it.
Jesus Christ. This is absolute chaos.
In fact, anyone looking to plunge into a parallel universe of madness should look no further than the two baseball diamonds at Kaiser Schmid Park in Aurora, Illinois, where the fences-free outfields define boundaries to a single lawless no merge human land in which it is impossible to determine when one field ends and the other begins. At any point in time, blistering line trips by the travel teams playing on field 1 could shoot dangerously at the teeing-offs playing on field 2, or midfielders from both fields could collide violently while flying flies struck in the same area at the same time. The mess is such that sometimes it’s really impossible to tell which one Ring! comes from which aluminum bat in which field and creates a frightening and disorienting atmosphere for everyone involved.
It really is an unholy mess that mocks the game of baseball. Here, hard floor balls hit into the gap can roll far enough into the infinite void for a home run, while towering fly balls that would normally clear the fence in an exciting way can be caught and turned into boring doubles. And with just one umpire assigned to each game – usually a 14 year old park district attendant with minimal training – you only have one man at home who has technically infinite jurisdiction due to the limitless outfield situation, the poor bastard basically has no chance to perform one’s duties faithfully. It’s an absolute cluster fuck in practically every way.
Baseball is a game of order and discipline, but it is unclear how to teach this to children when the field they are playing on is like something that comes straight out of the game Twilight zone. Apart from the absurd situation in the field, hardly any aspect of the diamonds feels particularly right. The placement of the cheap, unanchored bases is wobbly and seemingly obvious. The infields are little more than unkempt triangles of dust and chalk plagued by Ornery bees that breed between the half-finished Gatorade bottles that overflow from the unkempt garbage cans behind the backstops. The deeply crappy infield and absurd, fence-free outfield together form an incoherent pasture of bullshit that is very likely to corrupt the formidable minds of the hundreds of children who play on it each week.
None of this is okay!
What we have here is plain pandemonium, plain and simple. It really is an amazing theater where everything looks wrong and nothing makes sense. If you are a sports fan ready to experience the chaos of a baseball field ruled entirely by entropy, then this is the place for you.