Betty White Has Drowned After The 36Okay Breast Implants She Bought In Hopes Of Getting Solid As Lara Croft Weighed Her Down In The Bathtub

Get ready for a real belly punch because one of the most beloved icons in Hollywood history is unfortunately no longer with us: Betty White died at the age of 99 after the 36K breast implants she hoped to get as Lara Croft complained about being occupied in the bathtub and drowned her.

Rest in power, Betty. You were an absolute legend.

A representative from White confirmed earlier this morning that the estimated golden girls The actress was found unresponsive in her bathtub last night after falling forward under the enormous weight of her massive silicone breasts, anchoring her underwater and making it physically impossible for her to gasp. Medical investigators ruled that White’s death was an accident caused by a discrepancy between White’s extremely frail constitution and the sizable tonnage of luscious fake breasts she recently surgically implanted to reach the busty dimensions of Tomb Raider Protagonist Lara Croft, a role previously played by Angelina Jolie and Alicia Vikander.

According to the autopsy report, Betty White fought valiantly for hours under her huge and dangerous horns – with all her remaining strength to punch, kick, and even try to eat them off her body – before tragically succumbing to her monstrosity.

Our hearts go out to Betty White’s loves. It’s so incredibly sad.

While White was never offered the opportunity to audition next to Lara Croft, she pursued the role as an opportunity to challenge herself as an actress and, even after nine decades in the film industry, remained determined to improve her craft. Sources close to White say that in order to impress casting managers, she not only surgically brought her breasts to airship-like proportions, but also underwent intense archery, climbing, and firearm training. In the weeks before her death, White had posted several videos online in which she was dressed in the video game heroine’s signature tank top, green shorts and boots, while as Lara Croft she improvised the dialogue and wrote lines like “Ww-who has … what happened … ”yelled. to my TOMB! “and” My name is … Langa … and I’m literally in love with a jungle! “Until the end of her life, Betty’s commitment to play the role of Lara Croft never wavered, underscoring her extraordinary passion for acting that made them so successful in the first place.

Impressive. She really was one of the greats.

We can’t believe she’s really gone. It will be hard to see the next one Tomb Raider Film without imagining what could have been if Betty hadn’t been drowned by her own outrageous breast implants. RIP, Betty! You will be missed very much.

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