Innovation FTW! Toyota Is Printing Dick Van Dyke’s Face On Their Airbags So That If You Get In An Accident It Seems to be Like Dick Van Dyke Is Bursting Out Of Your Steering Wheel To Kiss You
The most important thing to look out for when buying a new car is safety. A car manufacturer just unveiled an innovative new safety feature that is guaranteed to give you peace of mind every time you get behind the wheel: Toyota starts pushing Dick Van Dyke’s face onto the airbags so that it looks like it’s coming out of your steering wheel burst to kiss you if you get into an accident.
Amazing! Toyota is really setting a new standard for car safety!
In a press release today, the company announced that every new Toyota model will now be fitted with NHTSA-certified airbags embossed with a lifelike digital print of Dick Van Dyke’s face twisted into a soothing, wide-eyed grin. In the event of a collision, Toyota boasts that the airbags not only greatly reduce the risk of head and neck injuries, but also create the flattering impression a 95-year-old Emmy winner and WWII veteran desperately wants to kiss you and you so to distract from the terror of the accident and the cruel injuries you may have sustained.
“Our industry-leading team at Toyota Research Institute spent over five years and $ 250 million developing this revolutionary new technology so that, for the first time, drivers can feel confident that the older star of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang could burst out of the steering column at any time and smooch ”, says the press release. “Synchronizing with Toyota’s industry-leading impact detection technology, the airbags provide drivers with added protection by alerting them of impending collisions by screaming, ‘READY, JACKASS, BECAUSE I WILL KISS YOU! ‘taken from a 1979 Tonight show Interview with Johnny Carson. “
To promote this feature, Toyota launched a powerful new commercial in which we see a 16 year old girl driving her new Toyota while we hear a voice over from her dad thinking about the challenges the kid grows up and become independent while still trying to protect them. Then we suddenly see his daughter get into a terrible collision. We then see harrowing slow-motion shots of the airbag erupting from the steering wheel and Dick Van Dyke’s ancient, rapidly inflated face poking out to plant a big, wet face on the child as they deviate from the collision, after which we then cut back to the father, who breathes a sigh of relief and says: “While she will always be my little girl, I can at least comfort myself knowing that she is almost 100 years old, wherever the road leads her. The old celebrity will always be there to kiss her when she needs it most. ”
Wow … we’re definitely getting a little foggy here!
Kudos to Toyota for putting consumer safety first. We hope that other automakers will follow suit with their own Smooch airbags!