This eighth Grader Simply Sprayed A Ton Of Cologne On His Balls Earlier than Going To The Spring Fling

When success and opportunity meet, a kid from Portsmouth, New Hampshire prepares for fame in a truly amazing way: this eighth grader just sprayed a ton of cologne on his balls before heading to the Spring Fling.

Think wisely. Should the stars align in his favor, this young man is 100 percent ready!

Just before 14-year-old Ben Townsend drove to the 8th grade Spring Fling of his middle school, he sprayed almost a quarter of the bottle of Adidas Moves he had in his Christmas stocking right on his testicles, creating an aromatic oasis in his underwear on the occasion that he manages to meet someone in the social sphere. Though he’s never done anything other than kissing and doesn’t even have a specific girl in mind, Ben has done all the prep work necessary to ensure that his genitals give off a tantalizing scent in case a girl is sniffing or maybe giving within range of his Vienna area She even gave him a handjob – a thoughtful touch from a thoughtful young man who prioritizes a partner’s pleasure as much as his own.

Sure, Ben doesn’t have any real evidence that a sexual experience is an option for him at the two and a half hour school event, but after hearing rumors that a classmate got his head formal at Winter, he plays it safe by not only ensures that his testicles smell amazing, but also that they smell feeling Amazing that he shaved all of his pubic hair with his older brother’s electric razor to give any young lady who could venture below his waist a comfortable, rubbery scrotum texture. And to increase his chances of scoring points with a baby, Ben filled himself with Listerine Cool Mint breath strips and LA Looks hair gel so he could be absolutely fresh for the dance.

But that’s not all: Ben also learned a few breakdancing moves from YouTube that he plans to debut during the very first Post Malone song he hears, thereby impressing his classmates enough to grind with him. And to avoid any embarrassing situation where he accidentally pokes a girl with his boner while sanding, he wears the Under Armor compression shorts he wears under his pants for JV soccer to hold his penis in place until he actually takes it must use – which, god willing, will be at some point during the dance, although preferably in a very dark place with no visibility as his tail is still growing and he is aware of his baby carrot-like proportions.

Yes, it really does seem like he’s covered all of his basics. Despite the fact that his friend’s mother quickly rolled down the minivan’s windows, scratched her nose and muttered, “someone smells nice” after picking him up for the dance, Ben knows he has a foolproof game plan and done everything right has to maximize his chances that his deep horniness will be alleviated.

Bravo, young man. Bravo.

We should all take inspiration from Ben’s careful planning. As if dousing his balls in Cologne wasn’t enough, he even thought of putting extra wax on his braces to minimize tongue friction in the event of a makeup session – something even the most sexually experienced adults think of might not think Whether or not Ben manages to get lucky tonight, he can still be proud of having done everything a man can do to prepare for success.

Get it, ben!

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